Sex Licensing - Enforcement

Enforcement

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The question of enforcement of government regulations in the romance marketplace must be addressed. Many will consider enforcement to be an impossible task due to the difficulty of detection and the tendency of most participants to avoid complaining. Detection of a couple falling in love would be extremely difficult as it is often difficult or impossible, even for the individuals concerned, to know when this is happening.

Unlike falling in love, which occurs on a continuum, lovemaking is discrete. Having instituted a licensing regime for all eligible citizens, enforcement would consist largely of routing out and exposing citizens who are engaged in illicit sex... a fun job for some.. no doubt it would add variety to the jobs of those police officers currently assigned to monitoring the comings and goings in public restrooms.

Police enforcement could be augmented by the requirement that licensed individuals fill out annual sex returns. This could be made part of the annual retesting procedure. If everyone were required to complete and file an official form, say a T4-2 specifying date, time and partner, every time they had sex a paper trail would exist which would aid in catching offenders by finding unmatched forms. It would be a serious offense to make a false statement.

The frequency of sheet laundering can be affected by the level of sexual activity. The U.S. has taken measures against the crime of money laundering such as those under the Bank Secrecy Act which require Currency Transaction Reports for transactions involving $10,000 or more. Similar measures might be employed to help zero in on lawbreakers by, for example, requiring that all retailers submit Spray'n Wash Transaction Reports. These measures could be coupled with random spot checks.

The police could then break into homes of unlicensed individuals, suspected of breaking the law, in the same way that those drug warriors do on the TV show COPS. These special officers would have to be equipped with bullet proof vests since it would often be impossible to quickly determine whether the suspect has a gun or is just having a good time.

Sex audits could be combined with tax audits. "So Mr. Smith, according to your cost-of-living statement for last year you purchased a new mattress. Something wrong with the old one was there? Hmmmm?"

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last modified:Wednesday,March 19, 2008 at 04:40