Uncle Block's Advice

SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

HI MY NAME IS DAVID I ONCE HAD A GOOD LIFE EVERYTHING GOING SMOOTH THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN MY SON GOT INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE AND IT GOT ME INTO A LOT OF FINACIAL TROUBLE. THINGS NOW ARE TOUGH IT TOOK ALL MY MONEY TO GET MY SON A LAWYER AND ON TOP OF THAT BUSINESS ISN"T GOOD AND PEOPLE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY ARE WANTING TO TAKE ME TO COURT OVER MONEY I DON"T HAVE. I CAN'T AFFORD TO FEED MY FAMILY ANYMORE OR MYSELF AND BILLS ARE HARD TO PAY WITH WINTER COMING ALONG I'LL BE LUCKY TO HAVE HEAT TO KEEP WARM.

I OWN A BUSINESS A GAMEROOM AND TWO PAYLAKES, NOW BUSINESS IS LOW AND THE REPO PEOPLE WANT ALL MY BUSINESS EQUIPMENT ALSO I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION THAT PREVENTS ME FROM GETTING A JOB AT MOST PLACES. ALSO THE AREA I LIVE IN THE JOBS DON'T PAY ENOUGH TO SUPPORT THE AVERAGE FAMILY. I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN WHERE THE COL ( COST OF LIVING ) IS REALLY LOW, BUT BILLS ARE HIGH. IF I COULD FIND SOMEONE OR A FEW PEOPLE TO HELP ME I'D RETURN THE FAVOR SOMEDAY OR HELP THEM WHEN THEY'RE IN NEED AFTER I GET MY BUSINESS REBUILT. EVEN A DOLLAR OR TWO WOULD HELP ME OUT.

E-MAIL: dhafer4325@hotmail.com
Jackson, OH

Uncle Block Replies:

Her litterbox is in the basement? Where is the cat's? Oh, that was a different column. <sorry>

I have come across this kind of problem before. You would be surprised actually to find out how many people need money. Most people try to find remunerative employment when faced with this dilemma. Joe Schlockenbloc has written an excellent article on How to Find a Job and Get Off Welfare which you may find helpful.

On the other hand, the approach taken here may yield fruit. Let's say 0.01% of the 300 million or so people who read this send you a dollar. That would end up totalling three million bucks. Pretty kewl I must say.

That is why I have decided to take up the torch for you and publish your appeal here in the pages of Crazy Mag. All I ask for in return is a paltry 10% of whatever your take is. Fair? I think so. Contact me privately so we can arrange the transfers.